This is hard for me. For me to accept that your limitations are the same as mine impossible.
Now here is the thing. I really do not like it when you ascribe limitations that you have to me. I really really do not like it and that is why I get angry.
What it feels like is that you are using me. Dragging me into what limits you. In a real way I want to drag you out our your limitations so that I am not limited. Does not work.
I am not a all you have to do is have a positive attitude person. It seems to me that positive attitudes c0me from positive experiences. Delusions come from selective processing of experiences be it limited ability or character. Delusions seem to also come from projecting. If a person goes to college and thinks they are better off because they have than they assume it is intrinsically a good thing and therefore will be for everyone.
The US is number one in education in one category. Confidence. It is not justified other than past experiences. It is folly.
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“Stuff” is coming to us from all angles. There is the normal healing of the brain so information is now available that was not. We are noticing things like we might say many times in a day “We spent a lot of time in the woods.” this was leading to the MKULTRA marine facility.
We were Santa one year and it was great. We had a list of the children and something about them on the list. Say they got a puppy last year we would know that and ask about it. We knew all their names. Next year when asked we freaked. We were at a ceremony and bells were given as gifts designating what could be done to the child. Mine were black. Not good. Nor was that there were three. They were tied to our genitals, the females had them inserted. Then we were all but in a meat locker. In my life this time was not that bad which makes it hard in a way.
It is getting easier and easier to process this stuff. Much does not even need to be written. The deaths are the hardest for us.
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Some one used the term dog and pony show. This has a different meaning to us than most people. We are getting more OK with dealing with both meanings. As a multiple we all have different meanings for things. As we integrate this is less and less of an issue.
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So do day we need to do stuff. It is going to be hard. It is one of those things that will be better when done. We used to have this thing where we thought ourselves crazy for not doing such things and getting them over with. We now know what we were doing when we made the decision not to get these things done and that makes it easier. Before therapy we were the best that we knew at not putting things off. Reality is we are still good we are just doing the work of growth.
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Having the understanding that we do about the MKULTRA facilities is very confusing. It is means much work. It is a weight lifted which causes the work and makes it possible.
